One day you’re just this little kid who wants nothing more than to play with their toys; the next day you wake up and you’re going to your very first sleepover. Fast forward and you’re going on your very first date, which leads to your first kiss! Next thing you know you’re entering your last year of high school. The thought of college consumes you. All you’re worried about are grades, deadlines, ACT scores, growing up… Nothing can prepare you for the transition from teenager to young adult. No matter how much you wish to go back to simpler days, it’s impossible. Life moves on whether or not you’re ready. I don’t think anyone is ever ready to grow up and move on to better and bigger things. We humans are creatures of habit. People are afraid of change, never wanting to leave their comfort zone; for me, I wouldn’t mind never leaving my safe circle of the known.

When I was little, I was fascinated with the idea of growing up. I pictured moving out and owning my very own mansion. I envisioned myself cleaning my own house, planting the most beautiful red roses, cooking my own meals, and being independent. I would daydream about decorating each room of my mansion. I envisioned my room to be a light purple with books everywhere. It would be clean and organized, my whole house would. I would not only have my own luxurious house, but have a very successful career as a singer. I would get discovered at an audition for American Idol and would become the next Carrie Underwood! As every child, I was very naïve. I didn’t think mansions cost millions to billions of dollars. I thought I could just become a singer and instantly become an A-lister.

The point is, when I was younger, I couldn’t wait to grow up. I didn’t think there was any struggle in getting older. I believed that once you hit 18, life would be perfect with no hardships. I grew up believing that everything would be handed to me on a silver platter, that I wouldn’t have to work hard to get the things I wanted. I was so focused on growing up that I didn’t cherish the moments I had where I didn’t have to worry about things such as future education, finances, a job, etc. Now all I want is to never grow up. Oh, the irony!

When I was a freshman, our whole class was told something very important by our very wise principal: “Make these four years count. Before you know it, you’re going to be seniors and are going to be graduating.” When he said that, at first I didn’t believe him; but, now that senior year is here, I 100% agree with his statement. My three years of high school have been a great learning experience and have brought me some of my best friends. High school has helped me realize that my one true passion is writing and has helped me realize my dream of becoming a professional writer. High school has prepared me as much as it could for the real world, and for that alone I am truly grateful.

But, as my final year of high school gets closer and closer, I can’t help but be afraid of the future. I have so many wonderful friends, a loving family, and a very stable life. I know that once senior year ends, all the dynamics in my life will shift. My friends and I will go our separate ways; we won’t talk as much and will maybe even eventually stop all communication all together. Once college starts, I will have to learn how to stand on my own two feet for once in my life so that when I’m ready, I can fly from the nest without the fear of falling. I’m going into uncharted territory, which is terrifying.

I feel like my parents are pressuring me more than they pressured my two older siblings. My parents were never ones to pry into my life; they barely asked about my plans for after graduation until a few weeks ago. Now they are badgering me about my future more than ever. Before I knew that I wanted to be a writer, I was leaning toward joining the FBI to become a criminal profiler. It was my dad’s dream to join the FBI, but he never did join, and I found that profession super interesting. It was something my dad and I bonded over; we love to watch crime shows together. So when I told him I wanted to become a writer, he was a little disappointed that I wasn’t going to become an FBI agent. I feel like my dad wants to live out his dreams through me while I feel like my mom wishes I would pursue a career more practical and stable. Maybe going into the FBI would be the better choice, but I can’t turn my back on my dream of being a writer. I know writing may not earn a lot of money, but doing something I love is more important than all the money in the world. Never would I have thought that my freshman creative writing class would have brought me so much. I realized I loved to write and that it was something I was actually good at.

In the meantime, while my parents put the pressure on and senior year arrives, I get more and more stressed out. I can’t help but worry about my GPA, improving my ACT scores, worrying about my colleges rejecting me, how I will pay for tuition, etc. It’s all I seem to think about nowadays when I can be thinking about the happier things that are to come in the future.

I feel like when people grow up, they can’t admit that they’re scared to venture out into the world. I think teenagers especially are pressured into thinking they have to be prepared for life as soon as they graduate. High school graduates are expected to know what they want to do in life and how they are going to financially support themselves when a month ago they had to ask permission to use the bathroom. To me, that’s unrealistic. People should know that it’s okay to want to stay the way they are and to not want to change any aspect of their lives.

Growing up is scary, but at some point we all have to. Life doesn’t slow down for anybody. Sometimes we just have to face the music. I’m going to be honest. I’m not at all prepared for life after senior year. All of our lives, our parents have been making decisions for us, our teachers have been guiding us in the right direction, and our friends have been by our sides throughout everything. After senior year, we are all on our own. We are essentially starting over with a clean slate. It’s basically a version of kindergarten. We have to familiarize ourselves with new environments and make new connections. It’s all very daunting. But at the same time it can be very exciting to start over. It’s a mixed feeling, something a word can’t describe. This whole new world is just waiting for you to explore it! It’s intriguing, new, and fresh — full of all new things, people, and adventures. You want to explore it, but first you have to let go of your past in order to embrace the future.

Nothing is going to equip me for my final homecoming and senior prom. I’m going to miss my final lunch in the crowded cafeteria, the last time I open my locker, my final bow on stage for my school’s end of the year play, the day I walk across the stage to shake my principal’s hand and acquire my high school diploma. Knowing that I will get to experience these things only once is a feeling that I can’t explain. The future is a very uncertain and scary thing, but I plan to make the most out of my last year. Prepared or not prepared. It gives me premature nostalgia just thinking about all these things.

Even though you only get to live through high school once, you will always have the memories to look back on. When one door closes, another door opens. What I want to say is that growing up doesn’t mean you have to know all the answers; it’s okay to be uncertain about the future. Don’t stress yourself out just because you don’t have your whole life planned out. Live in the present and go with the flow! Things will come together in the end.

 

 

Brook Wyers is going into her senior year of high school. She loves to volunteer and is stage manager of her high school drama club. Brook is an avid writer and spends most of her time with her nose in a book. She wants to go to college to become a writer.