Most girls take their time to say “I Love You.” They meet the right guy, have some amazing moments, and then, when the time is right, say those three wonderful words. I, however, due to my lack of a filter, skip through the amazing part and go straight for the gold.
I would love to say that this only happened when I was a teenager, but, now that I’m twenty-two, I still suffer from “word vomit.” What that means is that when I have a crush, no matter how big or small it is, for some odd reason I say the first thing that comes to mind.
Now that I have explained myself, and somewhat justified what I’m about to tell you, I feel I can go on with this story.
Here we go…
My family and I were very much regulars at a local restaurant, mostly because my father was a partner. We were very close to the staff and knew each and every staff member by name. I, of course, decided that developing a small crush on one of those employees would be an amazing idea. One day, after a long lunch with my little cousin– with the particular waiter I liked serving us– I decided to wrap things up, pay the bill, and say goodbye. However, just like most things I do, my goodbye went horribly wrong.
Instead of saying “goodbye,” I yelled out, “Love you.”
I looked at the waiter, horrified, and the waiter looked at me, confused. Thinking I could fix the problem– after about a fifteen second pause– I yelled out “Bro,” grabbed my cousin, and ran from the table.
Already humiliated, I asked my little cousin– who is about eleven but has the maturity of a man in his mid-thirties– if what I did was really “that bad.” He looked at me with a serious face, and flatly said, “Yes,” and walked out of the restaurant. With my head down, I followed like a child who had just been punished.
When an eleven-year-old judges you on your life decisions, it’s time to re-evaluate things.