There’s nothing better than being able to say that you are d-o-n-e — DONE — with the college process! It feels like a backpack the size of a small city has been lifted off your shoulders because there’s no more essay writing or mundane (metaphorical) hoop-jumping! — for now, at least.
Over the past month or so, I’ve watched my group of friends (shoutout to the Laser Babes!) weather acceptances, rejections, and wait-listings, and I’ve experienced my own fair share of them. There was some crying, some screaming, some nail-biting, and some parental convincing, but we got here; we got into college, and we shared the thrill of sending our deposits. And, it must be said — there’s something marvelous about being able to reject an offer of admission; for once, you’re the one with the power, and for all future college applicants reading this, do not ever feel bad for rejecting a college. Do you know how much crap they put people through? They deserve a little rejection!
Anyhow, now that May is here and cantering along and my school’s grad week and graduation are steadily approaching, people are really starting to feel it. There’s been some nostalgia in the extreme, and the Laser Babes have made a real, concerted effort toward us all spending as much time as we can with each other before we all take off for different parts of the country or, in one friend’s case, Canada.
So, if you’re a senior who’s about to become a freshman, I imagine that you might be feeling a little bit of stress about leaving your friends behind and about facing the awful question of whether or not you’ll make any friends when you get to college. As a semi-well-traveled half-introvert, half-extrovert with quite a case of shyness, allow me to give you a few key pieces of advice and comfort:
1. Technology Is Your Friend.
Worried that you’re leaving behind the best group of pals you’ll ever find on the whole planet? Fear not — there’s a fantastic way for you all to stay in touch that doesn’t require a messy group text or a group page on Facebook! (Case in point: not everyone in the world has a Facebook.) A certain member of the Laser Babes discovered a communication treasure trove: Group Me. The site allows you to create an account through your email or cell phone number (or both!) and add members to a chat the same way; and, there’s a mobile app that’s available for smartphones! It’s very user-friendly and has all the benefits of a group chat without any of the stress, including cute emoticons and changeable user names (my friends’ names on the Laser Babes group chat change almost weekly).
2. Just Because You’re Leaving Old Friends Doesn’t Mean You Won’t Make New Ones
Okay. Deep breath. C’mon. Inhale. Exhale. Slowly. You got it. All right. Now listen up:
You. Will. Make. Friends. You will. I promise on my cat’s life. Plus, making friends is good for you — even those of you with social anxiety (and guess what: you’re not alone!).
As I type this, I can practically hear the introverts slowly shrinking back under the covers. Don’t worry. I know that spending nights out with the girls (or lads?) can seem daunting; I myself have skipped out on group meet-ups in favor of a good Orson Welles movie and some Thai food. If being by yourself for a night is what you need to recharge, you go. But don’t fall into the trap of always being by yourself.
Science has proven it: humans weren’t built to exist on their own. We instinctively crave interaction and nurture, but just in different amounts. Even if you’re ridden with social anxiety and prefer watching an episode of Buffy to reading a book out on the quad, try to make an effort to reach out to the people around you. Odds are, even if you go to a huge university, you’ll find like-minded people in your favorite classes or running the Harry Potter club. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there because college wasn’t meant to be spent alone.
3. Exercise Is Your Friend
Another great tactic of making friends: exercise. Or, spectatorship, depending on your abilities. Keep the freshman fifteen at bay by pounding the same jogging route every morning or evening. Other people will probably be doing the same, and, who knows, you might find yourself a running buddy. If running isn’t your thing, then try your school’s gym, pool, basketball court, or soccer field. You’ll become part of a collective, and even exchanging a smile with a mutual treadmill-user will definitely brighten your day.
4. Invest In Your Passions
College is insane for a reason: everything is happening all at once. So, throw yourself into what you love, even if it scares you or if you’ve never done it before. Join the chess club or the radio station or the tutoring center. Keeping yourself busy (but not insanely busy) will take your mind off of worrying whether people like you or not, not to mention distracting you from potential homesickness. Something I think a lot of people forget is that college is a place and a time that is stuffed to the brim with freedom; you’re an adult away from home, in a new place with few limitations. Take advantage of the 40k+ you/your parents are shelling out each year, and carpe that diem.
At the risk of digressing, let me leave you with this: Don’t over-commit yourself, but commit nonetheless. Even if you’re in a rough situation where you aren’t going to your top-choice college — or you’re going to the college your parents wanted you to go to — cheer up a little; you’re accepted by the college that is the best fit for you, regardless of what you might be thinking right now. And quite honestly, take the opportunity to explore, which is an opportunity that a lot of people in the world don’t have.
I’ll sign off now with a hug and a promise that when I get to Ohio in August as a new and official member of the Kenyon College Lords and Ladies (what a mascot, eh?), I’ll do my best to explore. And, hopefully, I won’t find a way to break some part of the pool by the end of my second week.
