Q:  A boy I like is sending me (sexy) messages on Facebook that are making me uncomfortable.  He says he wants to hook up, but so far he hasn’t asked me out.  What should I do?


A: This Ninja is not clear that said boy is worthy of your affection, but is willing to assume you are a good judge of character and so will give advice on the subject.  Your poorly trained would-be boyfriend is confused on at least two important matters.  First, unless he is asking you to belay for him while rock climbing, whether or not he wants to “hook up” is totally irrelevant until you two get to know each other and you have a chance to decide what you want.  If he knew you well enough to hook up, he’d know that you are the kind of girl that doesn’t appreciate sexting on Facebook.  Second, no sexting on Facebook.  Tell this boy (who, in this Ninja’s opinion, is quite lucky you are giving it a second thought) that you do like him and would like to get to know him better but the messages make you uncomfortable and should stop.  Suggest an activity with a group of friends so that you can see if you like spending time with him. Ninjas know when it’s a good time to stick with the clan, and this is one of those times. If he’s not interested in getting to know you better with a group of people you like and trust, he is probably going to cause you pain you don’t need.

R. Shannon Duval is a Ph.D in philosophy, Fulbright Scholar, second degree black belt in TaeKwonDo, and a national champion in kali arnis.  Known as "The Wonder Ninja" for her dual careers in philosophy and martial arts, Germ's Educational Director (and Consulting Editor of Germ U) has traveled to lands far and near, and has discovered that while the pen is mightier than the sword in all of them, swords are still an awful lot of fun.  She loves playing hide and seek in things that are bigger on the inside than the outside, simultaneously wielding distinctions and edged weapons, and pondering the original nature of snowmen. Have a great idea for using Germ in the classroom? Contact her at


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