All This Pain Has Made Me Numb by Disha Ahluwalia

Photo courtesy of Cassoday Harder
Photo courtesy of Cassoday Harder










All this pain has made me numb,
Reduced me to a castaway ghost
Rummaging through crevices of myself,
Looking for something, for anything, to love.

All this pain has made me numb,
Left me wondering if maybe I was better off
Engulfed in my own irrational feelings
Rather than feeling nothing at all.

All this pain has made me numb.
Slap me hard or break my heart,
Help me arouse the feelings I have hidden so deep.
It’s like they cease to exist at all.

All this pain has made me numb, but maybe,
Maybe it’s only this pain that can make my numbness go away.




Daisy ADisha Ahluwalia is a high school student who enjoys wearing black, good puns, art, and literature. Her heart has a wild case of wanderlust, and she wants to travel all seven continents and take pictures of the sunrise. When she’s not busy procrastinating over cat videos or overrated TV shows, she can be found in the nook of her room spilling out ink. She writes to make sense out of things. More of her work can be found here:


Cassoday Harder is a twenty-year-old photographer inspired by youth, femininity, and summer. View more of her work on Flickr or visit her website.

Germ Magazine guest author
… is a contributing guest author for Germ, which means the following criteria (and then some) have been met: possessor of a fresh, original voice; creator of fresh, original content; genius storyteller; superlative speller; fantastic dancer; expert joke teller; handy with a toolbox; brilliant at parties; loves us as much as we love them.



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