Ode to Loneliness by Abbie Arnold

All I know is
when You leave me,
and it’s always You who
leaves
or them who pull me away,
I am left a void.

At least when You have me,
I have a tangible sense of being
alive.

All these people
pestering
with questions
poking for my defense,
pinching at the scars
I have not grown.

People constantly parading
their overused armor
their ready to fight pride
their everything I can’t conjure
or even comprehend.

When I am with them,
I am reduced
to:
tears hidden beneath lowered eyes;
cheeks flushed beneath my cold hands;
muscles tensed,
and nothing else.

All I know is
when You leave me,
I hope your absence doesn’t last.

All I know is
when You leave me,
I remember
You’re never gone long.

Because when You hold me
You are holding
Me.
my doubts
and aches
and confusion
judgments
You are holding the me that I know best.
The me that I keep from others and save for myself,
alone.
With You,
I am not alone.

With You,
I am romanticizing and fantasizing;
Hoping,
and never questioning
Your connection to me.

And why can’t that be good?

 

 

Abbie Arnold
Abbie Arnold grew up across the U.S. fascinated by stories of all kinds. She is now a second year student at McGill University, studying languages and business. Writing is the best way she's found to express herself in words that she hadn't previously been able to speak. She hopes that regardless of her degree, career, or location, writing can continue to help her and those she gets to share it with.

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