The Drugs That Never Worked by Chloë Jessica

girl fade haze
Photo courtesy of Cassoday Harder

I was but a child when

I learnt what it meant to lose your identity.

So I searched for it silently,

but I did not find it at the bottom of a bottle,

nor a packet of cigarettes.

I did not find my self-respect in a new man’s bed.

I could not see to the other side,

was I dead or just painfully alive?

You tell me.

I thought that fairy tales were child’s play

and hide and seek was just a game,

but I find myself hiding from the truth

and seeking solace in yet another poison.

And when the reality broke through, like breaking skin,

I did not bleed the pain I hoped I would.

A scar of numbness formed quickly instead.





Chloe JessicaChloë Jessica is a 16-year-old from the UK. She’s been writing poetry and short stories for about 6 months. Literature is one of her passions alongside music. Some of her favorite authors include Veronica Roth, John Green, and, of course, Jennifer Niven.


Cassoday Harder 
is a twenty-year-old photographer inspired by youth, femininity, and summer. View more of her work on Flickr or visit her website.

Germ Magazine guest author
… is a contributing guest author for Germ, which means the following criteria (and then some) have been met: possessor of a fresh, original voice; creator of fresh, original content; genius storyteller; superlative speller; fantastic dancer; expert joke teller; handy with a toolbox; brilliant at parties; loves us as much as we love them.



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